Anakin laughed. "Then you're doing better than I do the first time I let someone else fly my ship."

"I normally last about five seconds before yanking the controls back," Anakin admitted. "It was a test of my patience when I took the workshops up, and that only worked because I'm not particularly fond of the shuttle."

Anakin pictured his modified Jedi starfighter in his mind for River to see. "I spent years in that ship," he said. "Jedi weren't allowed to have possessions, of course, but everyone knew that this ship was mine. I'd tweaked reaction times so that no one else could fly it."

"I spent time on a much larger ship as well," and this time there was no point of reference for River. Anakin had very carefully walled off all of his Vader-related memories, "but it was never a home."

"This one was a sterile war machine meant to inflict pain," Anakin replied. He shook his head. "It's not worth thinking about."

"There was a war," Anakin said quietly, staring at something far away. "A lot of higher ideals got shifted aside."

Anakin met her eyes squarely. "Not the same person I was when I started," he said quietly. "I used to smile more."

Anakin smiled back. "But it certainly doesn't help much, huh?"

"Force willing, it'll stay that way for you," Anakin said, eyes shadowed. He waved his hands at her. "Off with you now," he said with a smile. "Go talk to someone not as cranky."