sith_happened | Office hours [all day]

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Office hours [all day]

Anakin was in his office listening to the Beatles and staring into space doofily.

He'd tell you he was practicing new meditation techniques.

He'd be a great big liar.

The door was open.

Wherever You Will Go - The Calling

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"Don't push too hard," Anakin said, "it's instinctive. Think about how you protect yourself from memories that hurt, then apply the same procedure."

He dropped his barriers again, letting her see how everything except for events in the last six months, were locked tightly behind his barricade.

"Not good at protecting myself from memories that hurt," River admitted. "Always there. My brother said it was due to experimental surgery." She looked downcast.

With the barriers down, River would be able to feel the waves of shock, horror, and deep, terrifying anger for those who would hurt her that Anakin was feeling.

He mastered his emotions quickly. "We'll work on that first," he said softly. "There's no need to be like a turtle without a shell. Do you think you could maintain walls someone else put up? It'd be a bit like a psychic graft..."

"Try?" River asked eagerly, having sensed his reaction clearly. His concern for her made her feel strangely safe.

Anakin nodded, closing his eyes. Show me what you want blocked he whispered as he carefully maneuvered his way through her mind.

River closed her eyes too, trying to focus. There were all the memories from the Academy, a dreamlike, painful mess constantly present. There was the last goodbye to her parents, before going there. There were random memories that weren't hers, things that she had picked up from others. All this was jumbled together.

Anakin smiled as he found the memory he'd shared with her and cautiously began erecting partitions, beginning to separate memories that were hers from those that weren't. They really did a job on you, he murmured softly.

River said nothing, just felt a silence in parts of her mind as the walls appeared. The constant murmuring of images and words diminished. It didn't strike her in any way that letting Anakin into her mind like this would be frightening.

Too quiet? Anakin asked as he continued sorting. River's brain reminded him of the ball of yarn Rory'd had after Vladdie had played with it.

No. Just unfamiliar. Things neatly in their place was a new experience.

They're not impossible to take down, Anakin assured her, taking one away with a thought. I'm not trying to make it hard for you.

River gave a nod, cautiously pushing against one of them. But some things are gone. Still can't remember exactly when this happened.

Part of the experimentation, or more recent? Anakin asked.

There was a long silence. Academy. Details disappeared or hidden.

Anakin reached his hand out towards hers. I'm sorry. Do you really want to know?

No. Not now. There was no hesitation in that reply.

Anakin leaned his head in so they were almost touching at the forehead. I wouldn't do that to you, young one, even if I could figure out how. You've seen more than enough already.

Slowly she reached out and squeezed his hand for a second, meaning it as a 'thank you'. Enough of that. she agreed. Never enough of things that cause happiness.

Before he could block it, Anakin's mind fled back to Rory at Homecoming, standing outside and telling him that she loved him.

Some of them are precious enough to last for a while, he replied, squeezing her hand back.

River smiled, happy for him, and clearly wanting him to feel that she was. Those are the ones important to keep.

Anakin smiled. Top ten best moments, easy, he replied.

River chuckled. Will you tell her that?

"I tell her just about everything," Anakin said, eyes sparkling. "You think she'd like to hear that?"

Even if she didn't know Rory very well, River thought it reasonable to assume that she would. She nodded. "Seems probable."

"Then I'll do it," Anakin decided. "I like to see her smile."

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